Aching Pencils

Okay, I'll admit it. I draw. Sometimes. I even get get out the occasional thing that isn't that hard on the eyes too. Hence the dA account and all that. However, I haven't worked on anything for quite some time, and the time before those scribblings, quite a spans had passed again. Sad really, as I love drawing, but it seems I have been in an artistic and creative funk for some time now. Years.

It feels as if I have lost an important and sweet dream that flitted off on the wisps of dawn. I'll remember snippets, a blurry frame of phantasm, and those spur me to some sort of industry, such as a single drawing, or a new medium and project such as silk flower fairies or bead decorated keys. It never stays long though, just enough for me to taste the sweet nectar of muse and inspiration before snatching back the cup and fading again into obscurity.

I'm in the midst of another such sweet sip.

Films by Studio Ghibli never fail to urge inspiration within me. Baby Water Dragon has most of the released collection, and we both avidly watch these moving canvases of chimerical fantasy beautifully back dropped by charming melodies. Being the escapist that I am, I tend to wrap myself in the silken threads woven by these inspired storytellers, transporting myself to realms beyond realms. They fill me with such imagery, feelings, desires, and inspirations, at times I feel as if I will simply burst if I am unable to express it in some manner.

However, at this, I usually fail. I usually fail to do anything other than dream, and when I do attempt something, my artistic and writing skills are so atrophied that I utterly fail.

I do not, this time, intend on allowing myself the bitterness of self disappointment. I want to press forward, become more than I am, take a step towards what I see. I look at such artists as the one below and yearn for a fraction of that talent. I know I have it, I just need to tend to it and allow it to blossom. I will never be great, but I know that perhaps I can create something I can be proud of.

This picture has many flaws, but they have a depth of talent I currently lack, something I desperately hope to fix. One step at a time, each one forward.
I have a few different ideas on what I can do to help force myself out of this extremely deep rut. Best one I have is to just put on some music and force something onto the paper until it starts to come smoothly again. It might take a while, and a lot of wasted paper or time, but I never do anything well unless I just jump right into the deep end of the pool.